Finn
by VegasGirl09
Summary: What's in a name? Or in this case, a nickname. Finn and Russell.


" _I don't need you to think Finn, I need you to be smart"_

Those words had echoed in her head for the last few hours, pounding right alongside the pain all over her body she felt from being hit repeatedly by Crenshaw in the club. But Katie was rescued and safe, Ecklie was stable in the hospital and every other conflict and horror they had endured was at a stand still now. Calm was the mood for the Russell clan as Maya tended to Katie, feeding her an early dinner then putting her to bed. Julie hovered by as Russell stored his vintage handgun back in it's hiding place in the safe behind the books on the third row of the shelf. He sighed as he turned to face Julie and now Barbara who and entered the room. Russell hugged her, sighing again with relief.

"Jules, honey, are you staying for dinner?" Barbara asked after Russell let her go.

"Oh, I don't know," Julie said wincing when she felt the cut on her lip tear again and tasted blood. "I don't want to intrude."

She eyed Russell sadly, still feeling hurt by his words and anger towards her throughout this ordeal.

"You are not intruding," Barbara insisted "dinner's almost done so hang out, relax, I'm going to check on the food."

She left the living room, leaving Julie alone with Russell, feeling more awkward than ever. She turned and sank down onto the couch, eyeing the books on the coffee table with feigned interest.

"So, no Moreno tonight?" Russell asked her, thinking she would want to see the cop after the events of the last few days.

"No," she said, "he uh-had some stuff to do, losing his partner like that, it's rough."

"Yeah," Russell said, sitting down on the couch next to her. 

When he did, he got a closer look at her face for the first time in hours and couldn't help but stare. Her face was riddled with bruises, tinted purple now at this stage of healing. She had a cut on her lip and he could see tiny cuts on her forehead and cheeks. The largest bruise took up half the right side of her face, directly under her eye. Her right hand was bandaged with gauze wrapped around it secured by a sticky medical tape. She was notorious for her right hook, so he didn't doubt she had used every ounce of her strength to fight off Crenshaw. But the evidence of the attack was startling. Yet here she sat, acting as if nothing had happened. He knew his blood whisperer better than that, so he asked

"Are you sure you're doing okay?"

"Yeah why wouldn't I be?" she answered back too quickly.

"Cause you look like hell," he said bluntly.

"Charming," she bit back tartly "it's just some cuts, they will heal."

But as she tried to downplay her physical injuries, a pain radiated from her chest and her mind went back to the way he had spoken to her yesterday. She knew he had been stressed because of Katie, she knew he was angry at her for letting the little girl be separated after escaping, and he had every right to be short with her, but she could not shake the sinking feelings of guilt mixed with shame. They had built trust up over years of working together. He had always been calm with her, no matter how badly she screwed up. But that word, her name, hearing him say it that way made it sound so plain, so boring and bland. She may have scoffed and rolled her eyes when he called her "Jules" over the years, but the truth was, her heart felt less lonely when he did.

"Why did you do it?" she asked now, turning to face him, leaning her shoulder against the couch her heart racing with fear at his response.

"Do what?" he asked, and she felt her heart sink with disappointment.

"Call me, you know, _that_ ," she tried skirting around the issue, waving her hands over excitedly, a habit she did often when nervous.

He just stared blankly at her, clueless.

"Finn," she finally spat out "you called me Finn, on the phone yesterday, I know you were mad because I let Katie get taken but you never called me that, not even in Seattle after the Cooley mess, not once, why?"

She pierced him with a sad look, her normally bright happy eyes filling with tears. Despite all the bruises and cuts, this verbal offence was hurting her the most.

"Oh, come on Jules," he said innocently "I was mad yes, but I didn't mean it, it just happened, like my kids, they have middle names, but we never really had to use them often because they didn't get into much trouble, but they still have them, names don't just go away because you hate them."

"But," she stammered, trying to find malice behind his choice of words but couldn't.

"Listen kiddo," Russell continued, shifting his position on the couch so he now faced her "we've had a rough few days, we're exhausted, words can hurt, yes, but you know me, Jules is what I use most days and Finn, well, I guess I figured I could get through to you if I caught you off guard, I thought you'd be happy about it since you hate Jules so much."

"I don't _hate_ it," she made sure to emphasize, absentmindedly wringing her hands together, another nervous habit.

"So, what exactly was the point of this conversation?" he had to inquire, giving her a playful smile.

"Nothing, I guess," she said realizing she had overreacted "I just wanted to be sure you were, you know, yourself, after what happened."

"I'm fine, I promise," he assured her, and she smiled.

Unfortunately, she felt her lip start to bleed again and this time, biting it to put pressure on it was not working.

"Damn," she cursed her injuries, frantically searching her pockets for a tissue.

"Here," Russell said reaching behind him and grabbing a handful of tissues from the box on the table.

But instead of handing them to her, he scooted forward on the couch and gently pressed the tissue to the cut, being careful not to hurt her but wanting enough pressure on it to stop the bleeding. She avoided his gaze as he tended to her wound, glancing over each bruise on her face, shaking his head in disgust. In all his frenzy trying to save Katie and calm down Maya and Barbara, he was blinded to her injuries and what she had endured at the hands of Crenshaw and Kimball. The mere thought of someone raising a hand to someone as innocent as Julie filled him with a different rage than he had experienced at the loss of Katie. He knew Julie was a fighter and could fend for herself but that didn't take away from the horror of what she had experienced and even the toughest person he knew didn't deserve any more pain in her life. He tilted her chin up now to get a better look at the bruises on her face and neck which she felt embarrassed by, so she moved her head away in shame.

"Hey," he said gently, lifting her chin with one finger so she was looking at him again "I know it hurts, I'm sorry I wasn't there, I should have been there."

She didn't have time to process his guilt over what happened because he pulled her in for a hug which she accepted, grateful. Despite all the physical pain that she knew would eventually heal, the emotional pain would take longer to fade. But she had friends here and her surrogate family and they loved her, she knew that with all her heart. This case had tested them, and they had only come out stronger. For the first time in a long time, she felt like she had somewhere to belong when things took a turn for the worst and belonging was a good feeling to have.

AN- I have always loved the dynamic between Russell and Finn and have recently started looking back at their moments during the show and wanted to explore some of the shorter, emotional scenes that didn't go far in their explanations. I always see them as good friends because I liked the idea of Russell being with Barbara and I don't want to have them separate, but I do like writing Russell and Finn as this relationship that does not need many words or actions to convey it. It is unique in how the writers on the show portrayed it and I hope I can do some justice to it. Hopefully there will be more to come.


End file.
